Oh yes. It’s quite okay now to say ‘retarded’ and ‘faggot,’ especially on X. You’ll get lots of “likes” and you might even get praised as “edgy” for saying it.
Sure, many people have resented “cancel culture” and the social pressure to use more gentle words when talking about those who were less well-endowed or “normal” by the accidents of birth: looks, intelligence, gender, sexual orientation. Complaints about the “speech police” seemed to get louder over the years; objectors claimed concerns about free speech, or “the politically correct” left scolding those who might stray from using more “correct” language. Those favoring “PC speech” thought it was a proper tool for fostering inclusivity and respect, but critics often claimed it as restrictive and divisive.
You want divisive?
On a flight following the Republican National Convention, President Nixon’s Secretary of Agriculture Earl Butz responded to a question about why the Republican Party struggled to attract “Black” voters with an offensive and vulgar joke. He said, “The only thing the coloreds are looking for in life are tight pussy, loose shoes, and a warm place to shit.” This remark was overheard by John Dean, former White House counsel, who later reported it in Rolling Stone magazine. The backlash was immediate, and Butz resigned on October 4, 1976
But similar remarks by a public official today would clearly not have the same result. A kind of smug superiority has now slipped into the mainstream, especially by those wanting to claim space in the “manosphere.” Consider a recent Netflix offering from “comedian” Matt Rife, trying to break through the noise in our “attention economy,” where all sorts of folks get attention by being outrageous rather than polite or kind. (“Polite” now seems so quaint, doesn’t it?)
In his Netflix “special,” he mocks a restaurant hostess with a black eye, suggesting that if she could cook, she wouldn’t have faced domestic violence. Rife never apologized for the joke, instead responding to his critics by directing them to a link to a website that sells helmets to protect disabled people who have frequent seizures or head banging. The special is full of ableist humor too, including a bit about an autistic boy’s private parts.
President Trump himself seems to have opened the door to snarky “manosphere” by being deliberately crude and sneering at times. He has referred to Democrats using the term “retarded.” In October 2024, Trump allegedly called Kamala Harris “retarded” during a Republican fundraising event in New York. This remark was widely reported, including by Newsweek, Rolling Stone, and other outlets. (Ironically enough, as Trump’s own mental capacities seem pretty shaky at time, the comment was part of broader criticisms Trump made about Harris’ mental fitness the presidency.)
Public figures such as Elon Musk have contributed to the resurgence of the use of the word “retarded” in public discourse. When he’s not dishing out poop emojis, Musk has used the term multiple times on X, with a well-documented increase in its usage on the platform. Musk’s provocative language has drawn criticism from disability advocates, who argue that his influence normalizes harmful language.
Back to Matt Rife, though: during the opening night of his ProbleMATTic World Tour in Perth, comedian Matt Rife expressed a controversial desire to “bring back” the word “retarded.” He joked about it being an “endangered word” and suggested it could be redefined positively.
Maybe this does bring back an important public debate, but it feels more like a moment in which too many people have stopped caring about the consequences of their words. In the new “attention economy,” many seek to become influencers by shocking others with impolite, crude expressions. Anything to “stand out” from the crowd.
Here, a link to a 2024 Forbes article titled “Lost In The Scroll: The Hidden Impact Of The Attention Economy”
In some ways the phenomenon of trying to stand out in a crowded world is just another instance of people seeking status, something that clearly matters to most people, especially men.
“For as scientists are now discovering, status seeking is not just a habit or a cultural tradition. It’s a design feature of the male psyche –– a biological drive that is rooted in the nervous system and regulated by hormones and brain chemicals. The drive for dominance skews our perceptions, colors our friendships, shapes our moods and affects our health.
This is especially true for boys and men.
https://www.newsweek.com/mind-man-why-we-strive-status-137721
But surely there are better ways of establishing dominance than by using insults or demeaning others. Growing up in the 1950s, my playmates often try to defend against stinging insults by chiming, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” So not true, especially vile insults like “nigger” or “retard” or “faggot.” And we’re seeing more and more “edgy” and “politically incorrect” talk from comedians and politicians and on X. Musk claims to be in favor of free speech, trying to let it all fly, as if that were a good thing.
At the same time, there’s a certain wisdom in breaking the rigidity of left-wing cancel culture; nobody like an ethical “scold.” And, if a nation that prizes independence and individuality, toddlers will often say (as my oldest son often exclaimed in those years), “You’re not the boss of me!”
Still, we should all vote with our dollars and our attention those who would insult or degrade other people, especially those who trade on the notion that some of “us” are “better” than “them.” As the PC movement got in gear, I recall some comedians complaining that it was hard to be funny if you couldn’t make fun of others. But I think the comedians, and we ourselves, could be much better than that. After all, it was not your hard work and diligence that made you white, manly-looking, smart (“non-retarded”), heterosexual (“non-faggot”).
The great religious traditions emphasize that we are all in this together. Getting laughs, or political traction, by labelling “others” with derogatory nouns, is just not cool from a spiritual perspective. Legal? Sure. But as the great detective Harry Bosch would say, “Either everybody counts, or nobody counts.” (And thanks to the wonderful Charlie Girsch, who used to end his emails with that quote from Bosch. We all count, but he and Maria are something very special; I seriously doubt they ever attained dtheir success by hurling insults or demeaning others.)
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