Can’t anyone be “civil” anymore? From shout radio to the talking heads who –– for many years now ––interrupt each other on television “talk shows,” civility seems radically out of fashion, When then-candidate Donald Trump led chants of “Lock her up” or railed against Mexicans as “rapists” and “criminals,” neither truth nor civility was much in evidence. But those rallies –– reportedly –– were great emotional highs for those who loved their candidate. Truth and “being politically correct” be damned. And the enemies of “true” Americans were those who insisted on “political correctness.”
But that’s politics, right? And when almost everything has become “political” ––or politically charged ––is all “fair” in love, war, and . . .just about everything? In late June and early July of 2018, there was a great deal of political and media angst over the heckling and harassment of Trump Administration officials when children were being forcibly separated from their asylum-seeking parents. Some Americans, and several “right wing” commentators thought that Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the President’s press secretary, was a notable victim when she and friends were denied service at the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia.
Compared to the political turmoil of June and July of 1968, fifty years ago, this past week has been relatively pleasant by comparison. But as one commentator put it, “you wouldn’t know it reading the commentary on White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ thwarted meal at the Red Hen in Lexington, Virginia. She was asked to leave by co-owner Stephanie Wilkinson, who explained to the Washington Post that Sanders’ presence made members of the staff uncomfortable and that her work conflicted with the restaurant’s values.”
Of course, the restaurant owner was well within his legal “rights” to refuse service; Ms. Sanders (no relation to Bernie Sanders, of course) was not being discriminated against because of her race, religion, national origin, or gender, but because she was the paid “mouthpiece” of a serial liar who had left his heart somewhere south of SoHo, and had done so many years ago. As Ross Douthat (a conservative columnist for the NY Times) put it in late June, “. . .the country doesn’t need a talented person, or really any person at all, to stand up and spin the president’s Twitter rants and moonshine‐laced speeches. Even in most forthright administrations the press secretary position tends to be an apparatchik’s office, all dodge and spin and obfuscation. In this one it’s considerably more culpable than that, and while Sanders may be mildly less ridiculous than Sean Spicer, it would be good for both the country and her immortal soul if she felt more social pressure to resign.”
So, it is perfectly legal to refuse her service to Sarah H. Sanders, and it is perfectly legal for Trump to question Obama’s American birth, rail against Mexican “rapists,” and to insist that the FBI and the Department of Justice must serve his personal needs rather than the nation’s. But we could all wish for a politics that was free of blatant lies and de-humanizing Twitter rants, and restaurants where a woman and her friends could dine without being accosted as an enabler for obvious lies and incivilities of a sitting President.
Moral equivalents are often hard to come by, but this one seems relatively easy. When “the leader of the free world” heaps scorn on women, journalists, immigrants who come from “shithole countries,” and disabled people, it’s predictable that people will be offended and push back. While “he started it” never seemed to work when I was growing up in the 1950s, it seems to have some relevance today. Michelle Obama intoned during the 2016 campaign, “When they go low, we go high.” But when top political leaders are consistently uncivil –– or repeat obvious lies for political purposes –– Ms. Obama’s desired response is going to go nowhere when emotions run so high. It may be legal for candidate Trump to attack others verbally and personally, and to set policies as President that are facially and obviously discriminatory against minorities and refugees. But it is wrong, and turning the other cheek and treating Ms. Sanders like any ordinary customer is probably too much to expect. Actions have consequences.